Please read content blow carefully than modify the paper according to these requirements:
FOCUS/THESIS: Focus: making thesis and topic sentences clear evaluations, keep working on making the thesis statement and the topic sentences clear, connected elements of the paper that evaluate BRIXX’s solution and explain why it is or is not effective. Let’s look at your thesis:
The BRIXX Restaurant solution in reaction to Ashley Johnson’s Facebook post may not have augured well with the rest of employees and many people within Charlotte, but it served as a warning to other employees who would have behaved similarly in the future and also gave customers confidence that their activities inside the restaurant would never result to worse situations.
First, this is basically the thesis I used to show you what a thesis might look like; it was not something I was suggesting that you use, especially since your ideas don’t line up with my thesis (also, I use that as an example for all students, so Professor Brooks has seen it before). Also, this thesis indicates that your paper will discuss the following ideas:
1.BRIXX’s solution may have caused dissent among employees and others
2.BRIXX’ solution served as a warning to other employees
3.BRIXX’s solution gave customers confidence to visit the restaurant
Now, let’s look at what your paper is about by looking at the topic sentences you use to start each paragraph:
1.It was probably that first incident of apparent damage to company image emanating from within that BRIXX was encountering.From a management point of view, therefore, the company achieved its goal even although not in the most popular.
2.It may be interesting to note that BRIXX walked into a very narrow path with their decision.
3.One would ask was there a better way of managing the situation? Again, this is debatable.
4.In the case of BRIXX Restaurant, someone might argue that a lot of steps of fairness were assumed by the management
The thesis and your points of discussion do not match up, which is what they need to do. Let’s work backward and look at your topics, then write a thesis. First, asking questions can help refocus these topic sentences to more clearly tie in with the objective of the paper. Try this question: How does this paragraph show why you thinkBRIXX’s solution did or did not work effectively?
If we were going to be very blatant about how we answer this question, the topic sentences might look like this:
1.(How does this paragraph show why you think BRIXX’s solution did or did not work effectively?) => From a management point of view, BRIXX achieved its goal of disciplining an employee to set a standard for behavior, although they did not consider the particulars of this situation.
2.(How does this paragraph show why you think BRIXX’s solution did or did not work effectively?) => However, BRIXX also had to deal with the consequences of its solution, such as lessened employee trust, which made the solution less effective overall.
3.(How does this paragraph show why you think BRIXX’s solution did or did not work effectively?) => There are other ways that BRIXX could have dealt with their problem.
4.(How does this paragraph show why you think BRIXX’s solution did or did not work effectively?) => Also, BRIXX’s solution seemed unfair, which might have led to additional consequences for the company.
***I don’t think that the paragraph that goes with TS3 actually does much to develop the discussion of your evaluation of BRIXX, as it delves into means and methods of social media monitoring, which is off-topic here in terms of the rest of the paper. The paragraph for TS4 also seems to not fit; it is from the old draft and provides basic information about your thoughts about the case, but does not fit with the overall evaluation of BRIXX or the other paragraphs that work to do this.***
Your thesis statement should come from your content. Your thesis should directly reflect the ideas of the paragraphs. You can use the model thesis to help you get there. The last blank is for all of the reasons you’re discussing in your paper:
The solution _(define the solution)______________ BRIXX implemented to solve______________(define the problem)____________________ did/did not work effectively because _____________(reasons from the topic sentences)______________ .
You might have a part of the thesis that says it seemed effective, but it wasn’t, since the paragraph that goes with TS1 is about that. In that case, your model might be this:
While The solution _(define the solution)______________ BRIXX implemented to solve______________(define the problem)_________________ might have seemed effective in its immediate result, it did not work effectively because _____________(reasons from the other topic sentences)______________ .
Each formal paper you write should have the same relationship between the thesis statement and topic sentences: they must work together.They also must address the objective of the assignment.
RHETORICAL STRUCTURE/ORGANIZATION: It is a good idea to work with an outline. Your outline would help you see the relationships between the parts of your paper. Here is an example (using the assignment guidelines as a guide):
¡Introduction
▪Inform the reader of the problem you are reporting
▪Introduce to your reader the company your evaluation will discuss
▪Summarize the solution that the company implemented
▪Present Thesis: answer to How effective was BRIXX’s solution to the problem presented when Ashley Johnson criticized a customer online? Or How effective was BRIXX’s solution to the problem presented by employees posting on social media?
1.First reason defending your stance about why BRIXX’s response was/was not a good one (using a topic sentence thatstates the main idea of this paragraph and shows how it supports the thesis – answer to How does this paragraph support the idea that BRIXX’s solution was/was not effective?)
a.Evidence: expert opinion, example, fact, statistical, or logical argument (evidence from the case study – use what happened as “proof” that defends your topic sentence)
b.Critical Thinking:analyzes, synthesizes and/or evaluates the evidence (explain how this is “proof” and what it means)
c.Transition: makes a connection between the main idea of this paragraph, the thesis statement of the paper, and the main point of the next paragraph
2.Second reason defending your stance about why BRIXX’s response was/was not a good one (using a topic sentence thatstates the main idea of this paragraph and shows how it supports the thesis – answer to How does this paragraph support the idea that BRIXX’s solution was/was not effective?)
a.Evidence: expert opinion, example, fact, statistical, or logical argument (evidence from the case study – use what happened as “proof” that defends your topic sentence)
b.Critical Thinking:analyzes, synthesizes and/or evaluates the evidence (explain how this is “proof” and what it means)
c.Transition: makes a connection between the main idea of this paragraph, the thesis statement of the paper, and the main point of the next paragraph
3.Third reason defending your stance about why BRIXX’s response was/was not a good one (using a topic sentence thatstates the main idea of this paragraph and shows how it supports the thesis – answer to How does this paragraph support the idea that BRIXX’s solution was/was not effective?)
a.Evidence: expert opinion, example, fact, statistical, or logical argument (evidence from the case study – use what happened as “proof” that defends your topic sentence)
b.Critical Thinking: analyzes, synthesizes and/or evaluates the evidence (explain how this is “proof” and what it means)
c.Transition: makes a connection between the main idea of this paragraph, the thesis statement of the paper, and the main point of the next paragraph
4.(Repeat for any additional reasons)
¡Conclusion
Think of these paragraphs as chunks of information; if you’re writing about how it worked, then all of the first body paragraph would be about how it worked; if you’re writing about how employees were upset in the second body paragraph, then all of that paragraph would be about that one topic (and you would not discuss that topic in other areas).
For instance, the first body paragraph might look like this:
From a management point of view, BRIXX achieved its goal of disciplining an employee to set a standard for behavior, although they did not consider the particulars of this situation. It was probably that first incident of apparent damage to company image emanating from within that BRIXX was encountering. BRIXX saw the post using profanity and their company name and they reacted, as Johnson had clearly broken her contract. This explains why the management had to quickly act and in that particular manner to restore confidence among its customers. It may not have been clear enough to the management that Ashley’s Facebook account only had a few high school friends and family members. Therefore, the level of damage of this incident would have been limited if BRIXX had considered the specifics context of Johnson’s post. In addition to meting out punishment for a contract violation, BRIXX also wanted to send a message. Other employees in BRIXX restaurant were also meant to learn through the action of dismissing Ashley. From a management point of view, therefore, the company achieved its goals of _____________.
This paragraph uses a topic sentence that more clearly connects to the thesis, explains that the contract violation and setting a standard of behavior were management goals, and also explores the idea that they did not consider context, which might have benefited them.
SENTENCES: * Be sure to apply these throughout your paper, not just in the one sentence I picked out. If the change needs to be made in one place, make sure you make it in all other instances as well. *
It is no doubt that employees felt disappointing and being controlling.
Verb form You’re using verbs as adjectives here, and in this sense, you’re saying they are disappointing and controlling other people. Instead, use the –ed form of the verb to show that others made them feel that way: disappointed and controlled.
In conclusion, everyone have right to post their opinion regarding the method used by BRIXX to fix their problem.
Subject verb agreement You use the singular noun everyone (yes, it means more than one person, but the word is singular) but the plural verb have. To maintain agreement, use the singular verb has. Always check to make sure the nouns and verbs agree. One exercise that can help is to underline the subject noun of each sentence, write if it is singular (s) or plural (p), then circle the verb and ask yourself the same question. If they aren’t both the same letter, then you should see whether you have a lapse in subject verb agreement.
Article the You’d also need to put the article the before right.
It also important to understand that social media activities of an employee in her private account should not be limited by the employer interests but a level of responsibility from the employee must be obeyed.
Possessive case You need to use the possessive case with writing about the interests of the employer: employer’s interests.
Doer vs. one having it done to them You write a level of responsibility form the employee must be obeyed, which makes it sound like the employer must obey the employee’s level of responsibility. Instead, write the employee must obey the contract and show a level of responsibility.
The number of the essay need to be between 1000 and 1300. The third-person.
The first file is the essay need to be modified.
Get Answer Over WhatsApp
Order Paper Now
